Twitter has become such a big part of my life, I think it merits a post.
It was only March 2009 that I joined Twitter, after much convincing from my boyfriend.
At first, I simply had no interest in tweeting. I was starting to lose my interest in facebook (an interest which now has been renewed), and i figured that I would be a lot more productive if I didn’t have twitter to take my free time. Eventually I gave in, and now, thanks in large part to my iPhone, i check Twitter multiple times a day.
I have to admit that Twitter caused a bit of insecurity. I tried unsuccessfully to connect with many people, most of which either never followed back or simply would never reply to my tweets. At one point I wondered what the hell is wrong with me?! what was it about my personality that made people have no interest at all in what I have to say. Maybe people have better things to do than read what i tweet.
After a little while I actually stopped trying. It still bothered me that people weren’t interested, but I figured there was nothing I could do. People could either like me or not and the decision was up to them. And then I wondered Why do I even care so much? I have a boyfriend… I have my own friends. Why did i care so much that someone I would never meet in my life wasn’t interested in making a connection? There was no answer, so i took it personal, and it did affect me.
Then there were the people who I did make connections with. Little by little I got to know people. It was mostly small talk, chit chatting about work, or school, or play. Back and forth we talked about things, and I slowly felt new friendships being born. And then one day, my “friends” left twitter, and never returned. And I felt left out, because I thought that a friendship was being made, and suddenly, no word from them, and no way to contact them to see what was up. And I wondered again how can someone just leave? It’s not about leaving twitter. But what about the connections you make? Was this totally a one-sided relationship? Did I think we were becoming better friends than we really were? And again, there was no answer.
Overtime it started to dawn on me that unfortunately, Twitter was not really made with the intention of connecting people. It was all about saying things we wanted to say, much more than reading what others have to say. It was a way to superficially communicate with other people, famous or not, and simply tweet. There is no responsibility on what you say. In my case, most people I know in real life are not on twitter, so I can speak my mind without fear of being judged; and if I am being judged, it is by people I don’t know, so I don’t have to care.
But then I began to lose interest; I felt that everyone was too into what they were saying, that very few people were actually reading and commenting on other people’s tweets. I wanted to connect with people and make what at least I thought might be a real friendship. And then a new question entered my mind. What is the point? Everyone is just tweeting, but no one is reading anymore. So in a way, we are only tweeting to ourselves. What is the point?
And then I began to unfollow people. I figured: if someone has no interested in making a connection, Why am I still following every single thing they do? I didn’t care anymore. Why should I care? One by one all the people who had never even bothered to follow back were taken off my list. Over time some more were added, and then some more were taken off. Every so often, I still go into my ‘following’ list and, if someone who tweets often isn’t following me back after a while of me following them, I get rid of them.
Recently I found out that I am not the only one going through these insecurities. I have learned that some other people, like me, were taking it personal whenever the connections they worked on came to an abrupt end, or when people they wanted to connect with had no interest in connecting with them. I guess, afterall, we are all human; whether we are meeting people in real life or through our computers, we are all making connections with each other. Likewise, whether it is in real life or through the computer, the people we meet will affect our lives, bringing happiness and joy, or pain and sorrow. Wether or not we want to admit it, our twitter friends are helping shape our lives just as much as people we interact with in real life.
I have now noticed that little by little, my little circle of Twitter friends grew a little bit tighter. I don’t talk to everyone who I follow nor everyone that follows me – In reality I have no time to do that. But the people who I generally tweet with are actually somehow a part of my life.
I can count maybe 15 people with whom I tweet on a daily basis and I can honestly say i like these people. If we lived in the same city, I think we might get along. And maybe we wouldn’t, but in twitter we get along and we joke and we (or at least I), laugh, and that’s what’s important. They might not be the truest friends, but I genuinely care about what happens in these people’s lives, and I feel like, to some degree, they care about what happens in mine too.
And I have to admit that I’d be hurt if they left twitter and I never got to talk with them again, but I guess that’s the way life goes, both in real life and in twitter. And I am sure I will loose a few of them here and there. But no matter how long our twitter friendship lasts, these people have already made a big impact on my life.
And they will continue to do so.
